Him
by ShirahimeSenpai
Summary: After the war ends and Gin dies by Aizen's hands, Rangiku cannot seem to move on. He's there, every evening in her nightmares, haunting her. Post-Aizen/Pre-Fullbring, GinRan


**Title:** Him

**Summary:** After the war ends and Gin dies by Aizen's hands, Rangiku cannot seem to move on. _He_'s there, every evening in her nightmares, haunting her. Post-Aizen/Pre-Fullbring, GinRan

**Rating:** T

**A/Ns:** Hope you readers like this one! I started working on a small idea in school, and then _bam!_ It ended up being a fanfiction. Reviews are appreciated!

Gin's quotes come from Tite Kubo! I don't own Bleach, if I did, Gin wouldn't be dead!

* * *

"_Now I lay me down to sleep,  
Pray the lord my soul to keep  
And if I die before I wake,  
Pray the lord my soul to take."_

-Enter Sandman, Metallica

* * *

Nightmares plagued Rangiku's mind every night since the _incident_. Every day, during the black void of midnight, she relived _that_ moment in her dreams, seeing Aizen, seeing _him_, seeing herself remain utterly useless and unable to stop those inescapable, fated events. During those dark hours, Rangiku found herself cemented to a world of tears and blood, fear and pain; she could not move, could not breathe, could not escape, could not do a damned thing except watch history unfold itself for the umpteenth time - and she hated it.

She would wake up often, drenched in sweat and chilled to the bone, still shaken by her visions. Everything she viewed during those short, frequent periods of horrid torment, was so vivid - _his_ blood spurting from the puncture wounds caused by Kyoka Suigetsu, painting the rubble of the fake Karakura town red, and the sickening snap of _his_ flesh and bone being ripped apart haphazardly as _his_ right arm was torn from _his_ shoulder. The grotesque picture occupied her mind constantly, inside and outside of the dream realm, dragging her down to her own personal hell.

If at any time she ever dared to remember _him_, _his_ face, or _his_ mind, she knew that _he_ knew he had no chance at succeeding to take the Hogyoku - that disturbed, small bluish-purple orb of an evil power - and no chance at defeating Aizen.

_So why did _he _have to leave me, why could _he_ not wait mere moments for Kurosaki Ichigo to come and save the day like he always does? I… I could have done something… If I had only been quicker, if I had only realized sooner, if only I had created a distraction, if only I had drawn Haineko on Aizen… Maybe _he_ would still be alive…_

The 'if-onlys' danced in her mind, taunting her, haunting her, every day after the awakening from her unwanted flashbacks, plaguing her and destroying her heart and mind. There had been one point the large-bosomed Assistant Captain had tried to move on, but Rangiku failed horribly. _He_ had left her nothing, nothing to remember _him_ by, nothing to cherish _his_ memory with. It made her wonder, if _he_ even held the same feelings for her that she held for _him_. Confused, she pondered and acquired no solution, the argument being: _he_ always left, but always came back; also, if _he_ hadn't cared for her, then why did _he_ save her when the two were children?

"_I've decided. I'm going to become a Shinigami... Become a Shinigami and change things, so that they'll end...without you having to cry."_

"_Ran-chan!"_

_"It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer. Farewell, Rangiku. I'm Sorry…"_

She loved him, she loved _him_ dearly. Now, she had lost _him_ again - this time, forever. Soul Society was too quiet, too eerie, and too unimportant to her anymore; even though the quarters blossomed with life and festive activities, Rangiku couldn't seem to get on with her life. Her daily escapades were of poor quality by her old standards, all work and no fun. The Assistant Captain had given up sake and drinking all together, her zest replaced by a flat dullness that worried those close to her. Their concerns went unnoticed to her; all she could manage under the shadow of her nightmares were thoughts of _him_.

Had Rangiku only known what _he_ had been thinking of, she would have known that everything _he_ did, every thought _he_ processed, every action _he_ took, all had been for _her_.

_"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?"_

In a perfect world, Gin may have survived, or Rangiku may have realized that dwelling on the past could not fix the wrong that had been done, but, unfortunately, not all fairy tales of romance and drama have a happy ending.

Because _he_ was for _her_,

Because _she_ was for _him_,

The imperfect world spilled its venom upon them,

And the _two_ gained nothing but pain and suffering.

* * *

**Start Date: **04.02.2013

**Finish Date:** 04.04.2013

Thank you for reading.


End file.
